My Vision is Becoming Clear Again
We’ve all heard them — the jaw-dropping moments when a mother defies fear, logic, and even physics itself… because her child’s life is on the line.
Here are just a few examples that I was able to find thanks to Chat GPT:
In 1996, Donna Callaway in British Columbia heard screams from her 5-year-old daughter, who was being dragged away by a mountain lion. Donna ran toward the animal, grabbed it by the throat, and pried open its jaws until her daughter was free. The girl survived with injuries, and the mom suffered scratches — but no major harm.
In 2006, Catherine Salois in Alberta, Canada, saw a bear mauling her 7-year-old son. She charged the bear, hitting it with anything she could grab and screaming until it fled. Her son survived with injuries, and wildlife officials credited her immediate, fearless action for saving his life.
In 2012, Angela Cavallo of Georgia saw her teenage son trapped under a 1964 Chevy Impala while working on it. The car slipped off the jacks, pinning him. Without thinking, she grabbed the car’s frame and lifted it high enough for neighbors to pull him out. Doctors said her strength in that moment was far beyond her normal capacity — pure adrenaline.
In 2017, Autumn Schwalbe of Michigan came across a burning SUV after a crash. She ran to the vehicle, opened the doors despite the flames, and pulled two young children to safety. She later said she didn’t even remember feeling the heat until afterward — adrenaline had blocked the pain.
In 2020 during Hurricane Harvey, Jordyn Tally waded and swam through chest-deep, fast-moving floodwaters carrying her infant in a plastic storage bin to keep him dry. She held the bin above her head for over half a mile until she reached safety.
We say it all the time…
I would die for them.
I’d run into a burning building for them.
I would push them out of the way and get hit by a car.
You get the idea…
But the real question I have pondered over and over for the past 7 months has been…
Will you live for them?
I know tragedy happens out of nowhere, without logic or reason and many times we cannot control the outcome. Like a death from a car crash, surgery complication, or just a freak illness or accident. Tragic doesn't begin to describe random deaths. I lost a 15 year old cousin as a child who died from an intertubing accident. It was horrible, unexplainable and left a lot of people questioning. I’m not talking about those events.
I’m talking about the determination it takes to truly change the outcome of your life.
The determination and adrenaline it takes to lift a car, fight a mountain lion, and chase a bear.
Sometimes you have to become so miserable with the discomfort to finally do something about your situation.
OR..
Determine WHY you need to change the situation and become laser focused on who you need to become in order to accomplish the outcome you desire.
You know, channel that inner momma bear!
This could be financially, lifestyle changes, your relationships, your job, and of course your health.
While we can’t script the future—God alone writes that story—we can live in a way where our actions reflect our deepest beliefs & desires, and in doing so, we set the stage for the results we long to see.
I guess you could say I feel like I’m finally coming out of the cancer chaos, the fog is lifting and I can finally begin to see again.
The past 7 months have been an incredibly hard season, but honestly in many ways cancer is the least of my worries.
It’s almost as if I know I will defy the odds, beat stage 4 cancer and this will become an insane part of my story.
But walking through it is still painful, frustrating and sometimes downright depressing.
The part I almost forgot about was…
The most powerful thing I can do is DECIDE I’m going to live.
I want to be around to raise my girls, go on all the field trips, watch every game, pick out wedding dresses and hold hands in the delivery room with every baby…
More than anything…
I want to take every step, enter every room, stand on every stage, write every word and touch every person that God intends for me.
It’s about more than motherhood.
Satan has tried to take my voice, my life and my mantle.
It’s just too bad for him because I’m coming out of the fog and throwing everything I can at this cancer.
I’ll take short term suffering for treasures in heaven.
But the reality is…
If I’m going to step into the anointing God has put on my life, I’m going to have to get a few things in order.
This means radically changing things in my life to support my health - long after the cancer is gone.
If I’m going to DECIDE to live for my girls, for my legacy, and for the mission God has for me here on earth…
It will require A LOT.
I didn’t want to do more radiation, more surgery, more chemo, take more meds, go to 1,000 appointments every week, etc..
But I will do it all over and over if it means another day to keep fighting for what my girls deserve and what God has asked of me.
So, after a lot of kicking and screaming… I made the decision to do more radiation.
Since my last blog post I did in fact end up having surgery to remove a rather large tumor. It was in fact cancerous and the surrounding area where my trachea site was located was also full of cancerous tissue.
Since they were unable to ensure “clean lines” I knew I needed to trust my gut, and give the radiologist a chance to nuke my neck once again.
My previous radiation was my entire tongue/mouth area and the left side of my neck. This time it is covering my throat and the right side of my neck.
I started radiation on August 5th and will receive a total of 22 rounds.
This was also the same week my sweet girls started back to school. I still cannot believe they are in 7th grade and 1st grade! We are so fortunate to be at MTCS!!! The girls are truly being loved on daily, they are praying for us, and to be honest there is a true comfort in knowing they are at a place that felt like a second home to me for my entire childhood (In case you didn’t know me back then - my mom was the principal there for many years).
Thankfully, I have been able to take them to and from school when they are with me. I asked them if they were okay with someone else driving them on occasion if I’m not feeling well, and they both replied with something along the lines of.. “I’m grateful we have people to help, but if you can do it we want it to be you.” As soon as I heard those words I decided pain meds were not an option this time unless absolutely necessary.
My energy is drastically different this time (in a good way - thank you peptides), but after 8 treatments I’m beginning to have a little fatigue, my speech is going a little backwards, my neck is beginning to burn a little and my throat is a tiny bit sore.
So, while I am eager to start chasing after all my big dreams and goals…
God has reminded me OVER and OVER that my story will be what determines my success.
I can’t even begin to count how many times companies, leaders, and many of you would ask me to give a testimony, speak on a stage, or share my story in hopes of inspiring others.
And here I am again in a season where my story has inspired so many of you.
Am I happy I was diagnosed with cancer? Not right now.
Do I wish I was working a full time job and missing out on the car pick up line? Honestly, no.
Amidst some of my deepest emotional and spiritual work I ran away from my healing and into something that I thought God had for me. It was truly a beautiful distraction - that maybe I needed and certainly enjoyed for a season, but I would likely still be doing it if cancer had not entered the scene.
I worked the majority of my entire adult career in the network marketing space creating a life I designed. I was able to set my schedule, set my own goals, run as fast or as slow as I wanted, and I gave that freedom up the minute I decided to get a job. No matter how incredible it was (and I did really loved what I did) I was trading time for money and missing time that I fought so hard for many years to have.
So, I guess in some ways cancer is giving me back the perspective and giving me a clear vision that I had started to lose.
While I don’t have it all figured out… I have decided I’m going to live for the girls and for every moment God has for me.
I look forward to the day when I am back on stages, able to speak more clearly, buying the land, building my dream home, affording to pay whatever legal fees it takes to protect the girls, and walking out the promises God has for me.
For now, I will continue to wake up daily and align my actions with my decision to LIVE.
Thank you all for the continued prayers, encouragement, and monetary blessings. You truly have no idea how much this community has meant to me, the girls and my parents. We are blessed to have each and every one of you in our corner.
If you would like to send any monetary gifts you are welcome to venmo, mail a check or donate on the GoFundMe page.